Soon after US Navy Seals managed to kill Osama Bin Laden, a huge explosion destroyed much of Hell’s infrastructure. Hell had to close shop until further notice. According to sources, all poor damned souls had to be temporarily relocated to Purgatory. Hell workers have to rely on unemployment insurance. Repairs are underway.
A spokesperson of Heavenly Afterlife Hotels Inc., the corporation in charge of Paradise, Purgatory and Hell, said: “Two days after OBL was admitted to Hell, a huge explosion destroyed the whole infrastructure. Ovens were badly damaged, and the complete reserve of brimstone went up in flames.”
She added that “we apologize for the inconvenience and are doing everything possible to speed up the repairs.”
While investigations are still underway, rumors has it that Osama Bin Laden didn’t like his new home in Hell. “Seeing so many scantily clad bikini beauties sipping martinis and enjoying devilishly good rock music was too much for him,” said his neighbor. It seems like OBL set out to recruit terrorists among the frustrated male Hell dwellers, and one of its cells managed to blow up the whole fiery compound.
“This is a new era. Terrorism has reached Hell, and Hell isn’t the cozy place anymore that it used to be,” said a visibly shaken lawyer who witnessed the explosion.